The Best Weekly (Lesbian) Roundup — Where are we?

Suburban Edition: Seriously. Where are the lesbians?

Close up image of the typewriter plates which have the letter shapes for every capital, lowercase and symbol.
Photo by Patrick Perkins on Unsplash

I see lesbians everwhere. Yes. Like that kid in The Sixth Sense who sees dead people, except that is me and I see living lesbians everywhere.

Take the tagline:

A frightened, withdrawn Philadelphia boy who communicates with spirits seeks the help of a disheartened child psychologist.

Update it:

A frightened, withdrawn Philadelphia gay bitch who communicates within the ether of internet writing, seeks the help of an invisible and maybe non-existent lesbian population.

But I know in my bones, that this population exists. Trader Joe’s at literally any time of day or night is a suburban Lesbian Mecca. Patrons and employees.

Yes.

All of them.

Onward and outward— The street? The shoe store? Other cars passing by? Ordering sandwiches in Wawa? LESBIANS. Queers.

They, we, we are everywhere. Even way out in the suburbs — this gift of my sixth sense, keeps on giving in both my current homestead and town of origin, suburban Philadelphia.

Full disclosure, I recently relocated from what actually statistically is the lesbian capitol of the world — the epitome of adult lesbian living — Oakland, California. SF. East Bay. Bay Area.

And now I live in Suburban Philadelphia and it is like whut. WHUT? Whyyyyyyyyy tho?

Where is everyone? Coupled up and trying to adopt children? Still frequenting a PHL club called Shampoo popular with the queers in the mid to late 90s? Pulsations night club?

I’m reppin’. Who’s in?

I’ve been on Medium for like two seconds, have struggled to obtain 50 followers, and I’m playing a game I don’t know how to play. I trying to ferrett out a niche. Imagine my surprise when I get this gem in my email notifying me that I am a top writer in the topic of LGBTQ , on Medium.

screenshot of an email I received letting me know I’m a top writer in the topic of LGBTQ, on medium.

Ok, awesome. Yay. I’ve finally ‘made it’. Phew.

And also WHAT?

Like, how can that be? I have 50 followers. Stats dutifully remind me that pitifully few read my words. And I am ok with that part. But riddle me this, if I’m a ‘top writer’, then we have a woefully uninterested in LGBTQ audience which is definitely something I’d like to see change.

Just tell me. Am I using the wrong platform? Asking for a friend? JK IT IS SITLL ME.

You’re here…. right? Other queers? Other lesbians? ARE YOU?

I feel like everyone is just congregating elsewhere, but I can’t figure out where. Real life metaphor — there’s def. a keg party in the woods, but nobody invited the single sober middle aged lesbo with lots of teenager sized children. I die.

Seriously — Autostraddle? Curve magazine, Huffington Post? Like seriously. Where. Now feels like an acceptable moment to share that I completely missed Tumblr or Tumbler in space and time.

So I stumbled on The Graphic Sapphic, and read her article on lists, and I am into it. You should be too. It’s gonna be good.

Side note — I recently dated someone who had missed around 20 years of American pop culture after living an ex-pat life abroad— and I found that I was continuously overjoyed to relive explaining the popculture icons of yesteryear. (I’m only in my forties, I swear).

Anyway — That yesteryear time is poorly preserved by the internet since the rise of digital media happened around the same time. There’s this gaping hole in history just before everyone carried a small computer camera audiovisual recording device connected to the internet everywhere they went.

I’ve gotten way off track here, as per usual.

Takeaways are this:

  • How the hell am I a top writer on LGBTQ? There should be many more talented and prolific lesbos writing on here.

WHERE ARE YOU? Show yourselves!

  • LGBTQ pop culture — redux and review needs to happen in real life. And not just at a Trader Joe’s near you.

Yes, Gurl. I am looking at you.

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Emily Roawr

Emily Roawr

Career veterinarian pivoting. I write about animals, queers, adoption, alcohol free life, and art. Inquiries may be directed to emilyroawr@gmail.com